


this kind of happy

by foggynelson



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 20:11:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8027410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggynelson/pseuds/foggynelson
Summary: Jace wants to save that smile in his memory forever. Or, better yet, he wants to spend forever with Simon, always making him smile just like this.





	this kind of happy

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt on tumblr! (Wow look at me actually filling prompts who am I.)

“You always this quiet?” Jace asks but he knows the answer. Simon is never this quiet. The whole five years Jace has known Simon, he’s never seen him as silent as he is right now. He’s barely even moving, just a small tapping of his hand against his knee, subtle, small. 

Simon looks up at Jace and there’s a smile on his face, but Jace knows better. He knows what Simon looks like when he smiles, when he’s truly happy, and this isn’t it. And yet - “Yeah bro. You know me. Quiet Simon. Silent Simon as my friends would call me,” Simon says. His voice sounds normal, fine, and if Jace was anyone else, he wouldn’t be able to tell that Simon wasn’t all right.

But Jace isn’t someone else. Jace is Jace and Jace is in love with Simon. So he knows. He knows when something is off with him, even if he can’t place what’s going on. But he doesn’t pressure Simon into talking about it and instead says, “I’m pretty sure I’m your best friend and I’ve never called you Silent Simon.”

“Well Clary is my best friend, actually, so that’s probably why.”

“Ouch, dude. That hurts.”

Simon chuckles and for a second, there’s his real smile on his face. It’s beautiful. Jace wants to save that smile in his memory forever. Or, better yet, he wants to spend forever with Simon, always making him smile just like this.

“You wanna see a movie tonight?” Jace asks.

“Not really. I don’t feel much like going out.”

“We could stay in,” Jace suggests, sitting down on the floor. Simon is on his bed and the two are facing each other. Simon reaches out and grabs hold of Jace’s hand. He strums his fingers against Jace’s palm and Jace grins.

“You did promise you’d watch The Flash with me. We could do that.”

“That sounds good. I’ll go make some popcorn.”

Simon nods and Jace makes his way to the kitchen. His mind drifts around, jumping from him reminding himself to take his binder off before they watch the show, to how much oil he’s supposed to put in the pain, to what’s going on with Simon. His thoughts linger there the most. They linger there so long that Jace almost burns the popcorn.

He manages to save most of it, just a few kernels blackened. He adds salt and a little butter to the popcorn and returns to Simon’s room. Simon is lying on his stomach, on his bed, typing on his computer. Jace lies down next to him, placing the bowl on the ground next to him. He sees Simon is chatting with Clary and tells him to tell her hi. 

Simon does and then switches over to the show. “Before we start, we gotta talk for a sec because like. Okay. I love this show so much. It’s not like some critically acclaimed shit but it’s so good, Jace, okay? And I know I’ve told you this before which is why you’ve finally agreed to watch it with me I just really want you to like it, okay? So don’t judge it too quickly, please.”

“Sure thing.” Simon smiles small before pressing play. It starts out and the first thing Jace really notices is how much Barry reminds him of Simon. Dorky, nerdy, talks too much (at least most of the time), cute, funny, and overly caring towards his friends. (The second thing he notices is how beautiful Iris West is and how he may or may not be 5% in love with her.)

Jace loves having Simon next to him. It doesn’t matter much what they do. Just. Simon. Here. With him. That’s what matters. Simon moves closer and laughs at something. Their bodies are touching and Simon wraps his leg around Jace’s. Jace looks over at Simon but he’s watching the show, not showing any signs that the extra touching is making his heart race like it is Jace’s.

At this point, it becomes hard to fully pay attention to the show. It’s not like him and Simon don’t normally touch. They do. Often. Simon has even kissed him on the cheek a few times. It’s normal for them but now… Jace doesn’t know why now is different but he can’t calm his heart down no matter how much he begs it to.

They watch two episodes. Jace pays attention most of the time. His mind wanders some, to the fact he forgot to take off his binder, to the fact that he put too much salt in the popcorn, and to Simon. It always finds its way back to Simon. 

Jace doesn’t know how long he’s loved Simon. Well. That’s not true. He’s basically always loved Simon in one way or another and that’s the problem. He doesn’t know when it switched from you’re my friend whom I care about to you’re the person I want to spend my life with. Just one day that’s what it was and Jace may or may not have freaked out for a full ten minutes but not the point.

The thing is, though, loving Simon just feels _right_. It feels good and lovely and Jace has no idea how Simon feels about him but it almost doesn’t matter. Because no matter how Simon feels, Jace will happily spend his life loving Simon. Like sure obviously Jace wants Simon to love him back, he wants to kiss him and hold him but as long as he gets to love him, Jace is happy.

When the second episode ends, Simon rolls over and lies on his back. Jace does the same, the two of them on the edges of Simon’s bed. Simon reaches out and grabs hold of Jace’s hand and Jace smiles. He smiles wide and happy and he wonders if he should tell Simon just how happy he makes him and he thinks someday. Someday Jace will tell Simon how he feels. He’ll tell him how much he loves him. How happy he makes him. He’ll tell Simon anything.

But for now, all he wants is lie next to his best friend, hold his hand, and hope for some good things for them both.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading you guys are the best. Please let me know what you think and come talk to me on [tumblr](http://autisticraphael.tumblr.com/).


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